Henry Miller, horrible day yesterday, new shrink, neighbour had a baby etc.

The new shrink ain't so bad. She told me twice that she was not scared, which was probably because I was trying to scare her.

I had a horrible day yesterday. I just felt so miserable that I couldn't ... couldn't ... do anything. I fell asleep and got up at 11 pm and felt a little better. I made myself a sandwich and went to bed. I am due to take my exam on philosophy on Sunday.

I am preparing for it, but I have a lot more to do. I watched bunch of not so special movies and finished reading Henry Miller. There is something about him that gets stuck on your mind and ... well one of the things that is stuck in mind is, he in one context describes the sunset as, "The sunset was as red and bloody as a torn asshole." I don't know how to feel about it. Any other writer I would have dismissed is as a cheap shocking trick. I remember seeing a video of Miller on YouTube. It was a news clip form somewhere in the 70's where he gave a tour of the streets of New York to the reporter giving a glimpse of his bohemian life. Actually such a reference is not entirely rare. I remember reading a Sanskrit expression where is described, the redness of the water in a lake at sunrise, as being similar to the redness of the water of a lake after a menstruating elephant has bathed in it. I need to read a lot more of Henry Miller, that is all I can make out of this. The ending meanwhile is great. It goes into a hurried narration , very unlike him, and ends in a contemplative note which questions everything in the book, including the purpose of writing and reading it.

The weather is still horrible. It has rained about 5 to 10 drops since last Sunday. It seems to be intently mocking me with rare and big rain drops. I hear the western coast is receiving heavy rainfall. So heavy indeed that some of the cities have shut-down and many villages evacuated. And yet not a drop more here.

I was quite busy the last few days as I had a timed project I had committed to. Now I am quite free. I will be seeing the shrink again tomorrow. So I hope there will be an update.

My neighbour had a baby. It was born merely minutes after the eclipse. I haven't been to see it yet. I plan to wait for 10 days. It is a girl.

I haven't decided what to read next. I want to get started on something today.

That's about it.

Yadi, yadi,...yada

The eclipse has come and gone. Pretty uneventful.

It is a slow news day. I will be seeing the new shrink tomorrow. She has a facebook page with sepia toned black and white photo of herself on it. I don't know what to make of it.

I just realised that I hate twitter. Just hate it.

Haven't got much reading done. Henry Miller goes on. He really easy to read but needs patience to understand, also bourgeois indian upbringing doesn't help.

Is that movie that Howard Hughes 'Hell's Angels' any good. Just wondering. I may give it a watch.

Nothing much has happened

I have been getting progressively more depressed. I have to admit I do feel better on some fronts. I am starting new therapy this week. I have been eating well. I have gained some inches on my waist but am not worried as yet as I am really not in a position to diet or exercise. The inches will have to just stay on till I find the time and motivation. I am taking regular meals which is a big thing for me since the last episode.

I have not read anything of late. I did watch some videos on the Internet but nothing remarkable. I have started watching Ardh Satya. I planned to watch a Mahesh Bhat movie but got Ardh Satya and Saaransh mixed up. Not that this is not likeable. I just found a link for the movie 'Zorba the Greek.' It is now on my 'to watch' list. I have 'Ek Chalis Ki Last Local', 'Maya Memsaibh' and 'Bandit Queen' lined up. I am not sleeping very well. It is probably because I have a blocked nose. The flu I got last week is still persisting. I don't have a fever but I have some cold. I need to take some decongestant.

In all nothing much has happened. I today linked up with some more blogs to follow. I have to see how these work out. I was bored and ended up re-editing my blog. OK.

13 July,...oops 14 July

I had an OK sort of week. My shrink broke up with me, kind of--She found another shrink to take over. It still hasn't started to rain. Everyday I read reports that the monsoon will improve but it doesn't happen. Well maybe next week.

I finished Kama-sutra. It was enlightening. I am now reading Henry Miller's Tropic of cancer. You see, he is wanderer, and so are his stories and books. I am still getting into his grove. He has many unkind things to say buy I am rarely offended because they are mostly true and I would have said them myself if I had a chance.

I started proof reading 'Kadambari' of Bana in PGDP. It is going well. I could not get to it for a couple of days as my Internet was down. It is interesting, although not as I had expected it to be. It is complicated reading as it has an average of more than 6 metaphors per noun, and I have not yet started the hard part yet. No wonder no-one is interested in introducing Sanskrit works into these projects.

The chikungunya has been going around these days. As if that wasn't enough two different kinds of viral fevers are making the rounds. I am not scare of any of them but chikungunya is kind of scary as it causes a lot of pain in the joints. Five years back no-one had heard of chikungunya and now every one has got it. It is doubly unfair as these diseases come with the rainy season and there has been no rain so far.

I have officially lost all interest in cricket. The ashes are going on and I found out only today. This is not new I forgot to watch the IPL final and the world cup final in recent years. I don't mourn. It is perhaps for the best.

I was hoping to watch 'My mother's new boyfriend' starring Meg Ryan. Her co-star Antonio Banderas I am not a big fan of. I was eager to see Meg Ryan's work after a long time. She in many standards is the gold standard of modern romantic comedies. Maybe I am exaggerating but I haven't seen any good romantic comedies since she retired. All the releases have Ben Stiller who is a pain, or Owen Wilson who is no less a pain. Most of the actresses in Hollywood are utterly incapable of playing the roles perfected by Meg Ryan. For some extra-ordinary reason they keep casting Eva Longoria (who cannot act) or Catherine Zeta Jones or some other atrocity of the same league. Well these days Julia Roberts and others of her generation do not appear to be doing much work. Well, as it happened I forgot the timings of the telecast and missed it. I am too lazy to go out to rent the movie, so I will probably just watch it the next time it is on.

I watched Kareena Kapoor's 'Jab We Met' on Sunday. I have to admit she can act. It was not as bad as I had feared it would be. It has taken bollywoodish liberalites but is still a good movie. Kareena Kapoor delivers and makes the role believable and contactable. I hope she does more work of the kind.

Ramayana has been going on. Yesterday Maricha advised Ravana not to attempt Sita's abduction. It is moronically obvious how it ends but I am enjoying reading it. I have always wondered why I feel the connection and appeal in English poetry that I read, like the connection I feel with Sanskrit or Hindi poetry. I don't experience similar issues with prose. I tend to get bored with English poetry and keep putting it off. The only English poem I read through at one go was 'Beowulf.' I think I was lucky not to have seen the movie in advance, for I am sure it would have ruined it. I remember reading Milton in school and feeling the same buy it has been a very long time. Maybe I should try Milton or Elliot again.

Done.

Today is July 02 of 2009

I have to admit I am feeling a little better. I started reading 'The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana'. It is nothing like I expected it to be. It is more clinical than bhakti sutras and brahma sutras that I have read. It is simple common sense and good advice everyone could use. I am again disheartened at my presumptions which were mostly due to western hippie versions of the same. I remember the episode where Joey challenges the 'Friends' that he can make anything sound dirty. The whole business of the american publications of kama sutra seems to have been no different. I have to admit 'Kama Sutra' the movie with Rekha did not help. I think I will see the movie in entirely new perspective after reading the text.

Next on my reading list is Henry Miller's 'Tropic of Cancer'. I have been waiting to read 'Plexus' the second book in his trilogy, buy have not been able to find it so far.

I started a project of my own on Project Gutenberg. I have made a list of indian books in english that I can promote for digitisation. As I do not have project manager rights yet, I have got some folks to help me out. This business of proof-reading for free is great. I get to read some really good books and of course get to talk or email with the most bookish book-worms in the world.

There hasn't been much rain. I am worried OFFICIALLY. The papers are full of warnings of drought, price-rise, electricity shortage and all sorts of bad stuff. I have been hoping they are exagerating as usual but I/we may not be so lucky this time.

I am forced to think and consider the writer course that I hoped to take. My mother thinks I should get to it at the earliest. I have been procrastraniting for way too long, but I have my reasons. It represents one of my last hopes and I am really not ready to take chances with it. This has left me almost frozen and lost. I think I can come to decision within this month.

I will be taking a optional exam on philosophy in maybe a month. I have to start preparations for it soon. It involves reading one sanskrit text on epistemology with eight commentaries. It shouldn't be difficuly as I have done similar things before but that thought doensn' t make it any easier.

Tomorrow is the first fast of the year. I have no special plans. I may go to get some initiations of some mantras. I obviousely cannot keep a strict fast as I have to take my pills.

My cousin is going to Rome. He is auditioning for a scholarship and seat in some music academy there. I had some reservations on his chances, and of course, did not express them. He seems to think he has a good chance. I have to admit I know as little about popular music as possible. I know only one pop star--Michael Jackson and now he is dead. The rest are more gossip column stars and controversy showpieces. I know literally nothing about their art. I may not be the best judge of his chances but do hope he makes it. He has sort of closed all other options for himself but this. To add to the problem his family is not particularly excited about his choices.

That's about it.