30 September 2008

Aniruddha

He was terribly scarred from a bout of adulthood chicken-pox. He was probably the jolliest person I ever knew. I speak of him today, for I dreamt of him recently. I saw him in a railway station. He was a tout and he helped get me some tickets. It was not a peculiar dream. It was kind of dream that is not special by itself but triggers a memory or thought that engrosses you for long.

I remember he was a good student, but worked hard at being one. He was not gifted like some others in my class who rarely had to study and to score good ranks. His parents if I remember correctly were Bengali and maharashtrian. It was a love marriage unlike most of our parents who were in arranged marriages. He one day I remember announced that he had memorised the schedule of the Indian cricket team for the entire year and challenged others to test him. I did question the use of this exercise with predictable pessimism, but he was too excited to notice.

It was not natural at that age, being teenagers, for us to question our future. We were certain that we would make it. How? I don’t remember that question ever coming up. We were, as boys that age often are, intoxicated with what little life we had lived. He, however, was not one of us in this matter. I was utterly under qualified to make this judgment then, and still am but I do believe he carried within himself a self-doubt that clearly undermined his very existence. I venture to make such a bold observation for I am convinced that I carry a similar doubt within myself. May be I always did.

I shall, I tell myself, remember him fondly for a long time to come. He will be another horse that ran. He will be another Nero that fiddled. I need him to become whatever he wanted to, for that is the only way I can be sure I will too.

25 September 2008

Just some stuff

I missed watching Forrest Gump on TV. I really, like that movie and have often wondered what works of literature it is based on. In spite of having watched it a dozen times, it still touches me.

“Shit Happens” is what he says. That probably summarises half of philosophy and all the self help books in the market. I particularly like the scene in which he begins to run and never stops for several years. The simplicity if the act is profoundly significant mile stone not only in cinema but also every man’s individual spiritual quest.

To do or undo anything is a choice every one of us make everyday. We consider ourselves wise and knowledgeable for having analysed the question and arrived at a reasonable conclusion. Is it anymore reasonable than the decision taken in passion and faith or the ones taken in throes of intoxicating love. I analysed the question and responded to myself that this is a profound question that needs further attention.

I am stuck in the vortex of thought and analysis. I tried meditation today. All I did was analyse meditation rather than meditate. I wonder if I will ever be able to fight myself out of this rather unexplainable predicament. I also wonder if I am still fighting or have already given up.

23 September 2008

one liners and other stuff

I have often fancied that I come up with great one liners. I admit mine may not be as good as ‘Got Milk?’ but they are certainly better than ‘Cheese, milk you can chew’. This rather peculiar talent has over the years helped me win many an arguments with no merit to my side. I just decided to document these one-liners as and when they come. I must warn you that not all of them are funny or good. Many of them may not even make sense. I promise every thing I write down made sense when I put it down although it may not at a later date.

I have been working on this one far sometime now and it is stuck and is not moving ahead. “Passion is the purpose of love, Love the purpose of beauty and Beauty the purpose of Life.”

*****

A practitioner of the illusionist branch of Hindu philosophy said, “Even nothing is not simple.”

*****

I watched Peter Sellers’ “Being There” recently and was very impressed. It really is beyond comparison to any other work of Peter Sellers. The Pink Panther series is often considered his best work but one must really watch “Being There”.

The irony and satire that the author invokes is so real that you have to watch it several times to understand the story. I hope to read Jerzy Kosinzksi’s novel on which the movie is based. If anyone happens to know a link where I could find it, do leave a comment.

22 September 2008

Writing Exercise 22 september

I have always found it difficult to describe this room as bright or as dull. The other rooms in my house on the other hand are easily classifiable. This room, room 3, as I refer to it is well lit but lacks any god air so will sit on the wall till I do something about it. I wanted to link up the tube light in the room to the UPS of the computer but have not gotten down to it yet.

Obviously, it is dusty because of the books but the maid keeps it fairly clean. She is probably scared to touch the computer which is why it collects dust aplenty. If I do get down to painting, I think this will be the best place but am not sure. This room certainly does not give me the space I might need to paint. On the other hand, room 1 is fairly empty and could use some filling.

I am afraid I am again building unhealthy expectations on the painting class. I tried not to but recently have stopped trying and just realised that I have been obsessing over these issues. I probably don’t have to worry and it might all wash away with the first few classes.

I am still thinking about the class at chitrakala parishat. I really think I should drop by there sometime and make enquiries. It can also make it a habit to visit the exhibitions. It can be a short and unexhausting outing.