I have been doing slightly better of late. I wrote a bit and studied a bit. The winter is setting in and but the cold is tolerable.

I watched 'Kids' (Larry Clark). Maybe it is slightly dystopian, but certainly a relevant film. Then I watched 'Hard Candy' *ing Ellen Page. I wanted to watch if after I watched Juno. Great acting. I thing she will go places. I am currently watching 'Ghatashraddha'. It is a kannada movie about how a father performs the death rites of his daughter (when she is still alive) to excommunicate her. Big time social commentary by Girish Kasaravalli based on the story by U. R. Anantamurthy.

I haven't got much reading done. I finished Chapter 2 of Bhagavat Gita. I started 'The Odyssey' again to find the files were corrupted again. Currently in 'The Sun Also Rises' (Hemingway). I have planned a re-read of Moby Dick, and my first read of Milton's Paradise Lost.

I finally went back to my dermatologist after nearly a year to treat my acne. He had given me some medicines and they helped me, but I got side tracked and was not taking them for months now. My knee, on the other hand, seems to be doing fine.

Done.

Post

I have been pretty depressed for a while. I am not getting much studying done. I officially decided to take it easy on my studies and try to get some writing done.

My knee has been giving me more trouble. I went to he Orthopaedician and he gave me some common pain killers. He said if they don't help I might need some simple surgery.

I am still reading/listening to Bhagavat Gita Chapter 2. I watched Prozac Nation which has Cristina Ricci starring in it. It is a fairly good movie. It is unevenly paced and has an unexpected ending, maybe because it is based on a true story. I watched 'The Counterfeiters' which is a WW2 movie. It is not morose like many movies on the holocaust but consistently optimistic. It is a rather darker adult version of 'Life is Beautiful'. I am currently watching 'Khuda Key Liye' which a Pakistani movie based on terrorism and 9/11. It has an almost amateurist text-book style progress, but is still a very good watch as it keeps you involved.

The shrink is not that bad off late. She is trying to help. I am the stubborn one. I have to admit her efforts, some times a little too persistent, can be at times irritating.

I just came across a sholaka (couplet) which is a coded to reveal the value of Pi to 32 digits. I want to learn it by-heart.

It has been a while

It has been a while since my last post. I have been sort of busy and depressed. I didn't get much studying done.

I finished 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'. It was great. I am downloading a movie based on the book. It is actually a pseudo-porn film by a no good film-maker. I just stumbled across it accidentally, and might give it a watch.

I started reading 'The Odyssey' but had to stop mid-way as the files were corrupted. I am now listening to a discourse on 'Bhagvat Gita'. The speaker is a scholar and learned man but a bit of a pessimist. As much of a pessimist I am, I am finding his comments irritating.

I had a bit of a pain in my right knee. I had to rest for a couple of days and it went away. Now it seems to be giving more trouble. I should probably get a check-up.

I watched 'Matchis' by Gulzar. It is a movie based on the Khalisthan terrorism after Operation Blue Star, set somewhere in the early 90's. Obviously, the songs are great thanks to Gulzar. All the actors are at their best, Tabu and Chandrachur Singh shine all along. I was not particularly impressed by the movie. Perhaps, the changed sentiments after 9/11 and 26/11 is to blame.

The other movie I watched was 'Manorama. Six feet Under'. I was impressed. Abhay Deol has worked very hard to prove that he can act and can stand apart from the Dharmendra clan. Tight plot, good twists, a good thriller. Gul Panag is memorable.

The shrink has failed to impress. I am progressively slipping into depression, and unless she has an elaborate plan into which this fits, she is not doing a very good job. I am slowing begining to be convinced that neither she nor anyone else can help me.

Next on the list is 'The Snow of Kilimanjaro' and 'The Short Life of Francis Macomber'. Maybe some predictable world cinema to go with it.

Dum...Dum...Da...Dum

The writer's course material arrived some weeks back. I started working on them. It is now time to do the first assignment. I hope I shall do a decent job at it. I have been putting off working on the assignment as I have been depressed for some weeks now. However it has not been so bad in the last two weeks.

I got some reading done.

I liked best 'Venus In Furs' by Leopold von Masoch. I have been meaning to read it for quite some time. It is truly a masterpiece of its genre. I can't wait to read more of his works. It makes a simple and clinical catalog of one of the most misunderstood and deep rooted human desires. It is revolutionary even in today's standards, I cannot imaging what an impact it made in those days.

I started reading 'bhavishya purana' or the scripture of prophecies. I have read many quotes and references to Queen Victoria and Hitler exist in the scripture not to mention innumerable mentions of Indian men and kings. It is a large book and will take quite some time for me to finish.

'Anthem' by Ayn Rand was great. I cannot wait to read 'The Fountainhead' and 'Atlas Shrugged'. I gives you great pleasure to read it and in a strange way conveys the almost unimaginable cocktail of despair and hope that her characters go through. I have read one other book by her, I believe it was 'On the night of July the 16' or something sounding like that.

Yesterday, I just finished 'The Communist Manifesto' by Karl Marx and Frederich Engels. It was actually read. I think 'Das Capital' would also be interesting if I find a good translation.

Currently I am reading 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'. I am in the fourth chapter. I am giving special attention to D. H. Lawrence's techniques of indirect narration as I think it will help with my writing.

Next on the list is, The Odyssey, and two works by Hemingway.

I watched a bunch of movies too.

'Do Bhiga Zameen' was good. It is an out and out tragedy, which was an ideal subject for many movie makers for decades in India. It gives a human angle to the tragedy and plays it as a tradegy of men and minds rather that one of fate and destiny. It ends with a positive note, nevertheless.

'Adi Shankaracharya' which is the only feature film made entirely in Sanskrit till date, is a good movie. I was not particularly impressed with the supporting cast, but the lead roles did justice to their roles. The pace of the movie is irregular and leaves the viewer lost and confused at times. At places it changes the narration and inconsistencies creep in.

'Shri Madhwacharya' is much more simple and direct in its presentation. It is based on a single and authoritative biographical epic poem and gives a reasonable idea of his life. Understandably, a man's life that lasted 79 years cannot be put into a 3 hour movie without omissions, but it is a fairly good job.

'Dr. Kotnis Ki Amar Kahani' which is movie on Dr. Dwarkanath Kotnis an Indian doctor who volunteered to fight the Japanese invaders in China during WW2. He was for long considered an icon of Indo-Chinese friendship. These sentiments sort of diluted after the Sino-India war, but it is still spoken of highly in China. The movie, in my opinion, lacked focus and spent more time concocting a love story than speaking of the war that engulfed most of the world around them. Perhaps that is how all the world sees life. As oasis of love and faith in the world that has little but tragedy and cruelty. I am not particularly convinced.

Done.

October the 6th

Stuff has been happening. Nothing of much consequence.

I am currently reading Man who was Thursday. I am barely a few pages into it. I just finished Beyond Good and Evil, by Nietzsche. I liked it. I think I will read Thus Spake Zarathustra asap. Next on the list is Man's Search of Meaning by Victor Frankl. The new shrink wants to try some logo therapy.

I watched a bunch of movies. Aar Par, one of Guru Dutt's early works. I am working up his films to reach his masterpiece Pyasa. Then Mother India. It is supposed to be a classic, I felt it was a little overstated. It is nevertheless a great 70's movie. Then Chaundini Ka Chand, another of Guru Dutt's early works. Do Ankhen Barah Haath, which is supposed to be V Shantaram's masterpiece is what I am watching currently. A great interpretation of Gandhian philosophy. Over the weekend I watched The General (Buster Keaton) a silent movie and Zelary (Ondrej Trojan) a Czech movie on TV. I liked both. That is really a lot of movies, but I plan to watch more. I am getting up early and watching movies as I get ready in the mornings. Further on the list is the original Devdas.

I sent the form for the Writers course one month back. I think they have received it, but I haven't received a reply yet. It is probably one of a very few initiatives I have taken since I went crazy, so as much as I tell myself it isn't, it is a big deal.

My studies are going OK. I sort of fell of the wagon a few weeks back, now I am trying to stick to my schedules. I sort of '''forgot''' to go to the gym a few times, now I am trying not to 'forget', in fact I am going to the gym this afternoon.

I started listening to some rock music a while back on the advice of a friend. Currently I am listening to Black Sabbath. I am not sure I get it. '''Mindless generic Rock''' or Soulful music??? I don't know.

Deepavali is a few days away. The festival of lights blah! blah! I stopped celebrating it years back, now it is just another nuisance and a lot of noise in the streets.

One of the big things that happened was that the water pump in my house was fused. I got it replaced, but is it still temporary. It needs some work and installing but the contractor has been dragging me around. It really annoys me. Woe ye contractor!

A new restaurant opened up near by. The food is spicier than I like it to be.

I am smelling a dead something, outside, for a while now, but cannot trace where the stench comes from. Every time I looked for it, I lost it because it is very windy. I first suspected there was a dead rat or some rodent in the gutters, then maybe some dead bird. Now I am beginning to wonder if some neighbour is rotting in his house. I have no patience or energy to pursue the matter.

Done